• Living with a Roommate

  • Roommate Agreements
  • Roommate Conflicts
• Connecting to Campus
• Residence Hall Association

Communicating with Your Roommates

Personal development is a large part of the mission for Residence Life here at the College of Charleston. We believe that living with a roommate and sharing living space teaches valuable life skills of communication and cooperation that residents will carry with them even after they leave campus. Living with others has many rewards but can also be challenging.

A roommate conflict is a situation in which the needs and wants of all living partners are out of alignment within the shared living space. There will need to be compromise in order to make the living situation work for all residents. While conflict is uncomfortable and may not be something all students are used to navigating, it is a normal part of life. The Department of Residence Life strives to help students develop the skills to work through conflict situations in an effective and productive manner.

Top Tips For Navigating Conflict In Your Living Space:

• You must talk to your roommate/suitemate directly if you are having issues in your living space. You can absolutely go to your RA to get advice and resources on how to have that conversation, but it is crucial to address the conflict directly.
• You need to talk directly to the person you are having issues with and not others in the suite/room or friend circle. This will build trust and will allow you to compromise and understand each other, as well as prevent further miscommunication and escalation of the conflict.
• You need to schedule the conversation with the person for a time that works for both of you and is in private. If you completely blindside the other person they may be caught off guard and be defensive making the conversation unproductive.
• Be clear and direct with your communication and expressing your needs and wants. Remember that communication flows both ways so you will need to both actively listen and speak.
• Compromise is imperative. Any solutions that you develop will have to apply to all parties. There should never be rules that apply to one person only, this will never feel equal and will lead to more conflict. If you are not comfortable or willing to do something you should not expect others to be comfortable doing that same thing.
• Above everything, respectful dialogue is the most important thing you can do to help navigate conflict. Part of our mission is to create supportive and inclusive communities and that starts by understanding we are all unique and have values, lifestyles, expectations, and communication styles that are different. Breaking down walls and finding commonality will help communication and make it easier to work through conflict.